As a new age arises, kiss goodbye decades of struggle,
happily embracing an ironic new dawn that’s snuggled our legs for as long as we can remember.
Bid adieu to the moments when our lungs were filled with so much oxygen,
as we danced to the sound of denim ripping.
Wave goodbye to the grief and sadness after every hearty meal
that gave birth to the mysterious muffin top that once was.
But rejoice now in the answer that’s stood by our side the moment we’ve collapsed unto the warm embrace of our couches.
Don’t dare question the gift of God – the jogger pants.
Accept it, and breathe.