An Apology to Kim Kardashian

Hi Kim,

Flickr (Eva Rinaldi, Celebrity and Live Music Photographer)

Flickr (Eva Rinaldi, Celebrity and Live Music Photographer)

My name is Neil and I’m a hater. A blatant hater who is quick to throw shade at offenders without giving much of a thought to the very essence of human nature.

When you were wearing that tight two-toned black and white dress, I thought the Shamu memes were dignified. When you showed up at the MetGala wearing that dress, I so badly wanted to roll on you because you looked like a happy, flowery meadow. Then, you showed up in Sherman Oaks, Calif. and you smashed your piggies and held much of your foot hostage in those $2950 Givenchy Albertino Podium Heels.

Did it hurt, Kim? Sometimes I wonder. I wrote about that tragic event that rocked the nation… and your feet. But you maintained poker face as you wobbled your way to the door – and for that, you should be commended.

In this dog-eat-dog Hollywood pop culture world that everyone indulges in, you are one that instantly gets limelight. When other celebrities are under the spotlight, we’re quick to try and balance our coverage… but you… you’re an entertainment pundit’s biggest scandal story. Is it because you’re dating Kanye West? Is it because you’ve got a reality television show and we insight into your life? Is it because you’re filthy rich? Is it because you got famous for that sex tape? I have no idea. But we’re all so quick to judge. Especially me. Hence my URL name, JudgingAllYall.com.

But maybe we’re all just haters, Kim. Even though you’ve gotten bigger, you’re still gorgeous. You’re bold enough to step out in public view, boasting high fashion. You proved that if there’s no pain, no gain – and you triumphantly walked out in stilettos, despite the fact that your center of gravity was shifting your ass forward. And despite the fact that you got the media’s attention with that sex tape, you were smart enough to turn cum rag to riches. Conservatives say that’s grimy, but they can’t say shit no longer because you’re one of the most influential women out there. Look at you, girl. You got fashion going for you. You got fragrances. You doing campaigns to help support women and you’re pulling on the White House to acknowledge the Armenian Genocide. At one point, you said you were about to run for mayor of Glendale. I was like, “Hold your horses, girl.”

But we as a nation – the 2.7 million strong that watch your show, the 10.5 that watched your wedding – we stood by you. We kept our eyes glued to screens, newspapers, blogs, magazines, etc. etc. We may have been talking shit all the meanwhile, but that’s beside the point.

Blatantly put, we’re just some jealous motherfuckers. Some loyal fans blog to your defense and say, “Leave her alone, she’s just another human being!” And they’re right – you ARE just another human being. Your dad was famous for being in the O.J. Simpson case, but other than that, you sorta kinda lived a normal life until you shot yourself into super stardom with an unorthodox but successful tactic. Perhaps that may not have been apart of your agenda, but shit. Now you’re doing big things and people still wanna hate.

So in behalf of myself, I’m sorry if I sound like a prick. You’re probably not reading this right now because you’ve got bigger fish to fry than to read some gay Asian guy’s blog, but I’m just saying… if by chance you do bump into this, then girl, it’s just business. I blog, I tweet, and sometimes I hate at first notice. I don’t really hate you. I’m not out to get you. You’re amazing. Well, at least I’d like to think you are. You’ve got everyone and they mamas watching your ass with high hopes that baby KimYe will pop out and we can see. THAT in itself is testimony to how effortless it is for you to garner err’body’s attention with simply just being there. Perhaps THAT in itself speaks volumes about our society.

Regards,

Neil Protacio

 

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About neilprotacio

Freelance journalist who just so happens to know what goes well with certain breads.
This entry was posted in Blog, Blog, Celebrities, Opinion. Bookmark the permalink.

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