Gone are the days when us, the gays, looked toward Lindsay Lohan and admired her for her performance in Mean Girls. Also gone is the emotional nostalgia we felt as she walked down the red carpet and we remembered the twins in The Parent Trap. Such has been replaced by a fiery red-headed hot mess – one who is also coincidentally named Lindsay Lohan.
Girl. [Taking off earrings]
Despite the fact that Lohan has already admitted the fact that she lost control of her life and needs help, her attitude towards Dancing with the Stars says otherwise.
Reason being: “she doesn’t want to do reality.”
The girl is broke with towering back taxes that probably won’t be fixed by her sparse appearances on television or movies. And if she isn’t on set for a television or movie production, it seems as though she’s in court most of the time anyway.
Most recently, according to the Daily Mail, Lohan was paid just $100 to star in The Canyons featuring porn star James Deen, though it is unlikely that the independent movie will reap much benefits for the star since the production was rejected by the Sundance Film Festival.
The episode at hand right now is that Lohan can’t seem to get over her ego. Whether she likes it or not, her crazy night life antics have bumped her downward into the realm of the B-list. No longer will she relish under the spotlight of Hollywood fame (you know, where talent shines), but rather, she’s grown infamous for her drug and alcohol abuse.
Lindsay, please get your head out of your ass and get help in any way, shape, or form. Dancing with the Stars seems like the best choice, IMHO, because a) she’ll be whipped into shape, b) she’ll have $550,000, and c) there’s a chance of a career resurrection. UH HELLO, Nicole Scherzinger? Mario Lopez? Kelly fucking Osborne?
And them endorphins you’ll be releasing will make you a whole lot happier. Just saying because you know. We see the valleys in your forehead and all.