I have no idea what depresses me more: the fact that I won’t be able to splurge at the mall and get my parents anything for Christmas or the mere idea that scam artists think I’ll fall for their shit.
I woke up at 6 in the morning, thinking, “Another day of trying to find a damn job” and was instead elated to see that a company I had applied for had emailed me back, saying they wanted me to contact their human resources gal for an interview. I had to set up a Yahoo Messenger account to do so.
Red flag is twerking in the air.
Yahoo Messenger of all things? Why that? Especially when Skype and Oovoo are at a company’s disposal. Motherfucking Oprah uses Skype and the shit is free! But suspending disbelief for one second, I complied and added an Antoinette_009@yahoo.com to my buddy list.
I say hi and a few seconds later, someone who’s going by the name of Antoinette Glover messages me back. We do a quick back and forth introduction and she tells me about this company called Azedea, which is a holding company in fucking Lebanon.
Okay, girl. Not the company I had applied for, but nevertheless.
The company was looking for a customer service representative who would be doing at-home work. The work meant sifting through and organizing documents along with some data entry and fact-checking. I’d commit to 5 hours every day would be paid $25 for training and $30 an hour after that.
I was already on the fence with the information overload which bragged a lot of rewards, but what finally made me eye roll was the fact that I was being asked to deposit a large amount of money for accounting programs I would need to do the job.
I carried on with the grammar fucked up and typo-ridden interview (atrocious, by the way) and after, I was put on hold so that the conversation would be forwarded to the head of the department for hiring. I was on hold for five minutes – because perhaps that’s how long the scam artist took to take a shit – and when Antoinette came back, I was automatically hired. Of course, the passive aggressive Neil just wanted to sign off but something kipped up in my spirit to put the ass on blast. Every job interview had a “do you have any questions for me?” segment and this quote unquote hiring agent was obviously going to go ahead and let me drain my bank account … so I went ahead and made a question and answer portion.
— start conversation —
antoinette_009 I’m back, Congratulations the company has decided to give you a chance for you to work for the company and will like to see your diligence,Charisma,Committement to this job. (I should note that there was a clapping emoticon here)
email@example.com Very nice. Will I be meeting with anyone?
antoinette_009 You will be called by your trainee supervisor to commence training and training starts as soon as you have your working materials…Okay ?
firstname.lastname@example.org Ok. I’m sorry, Antoinette. But I’m running out of time to be online. I’m about to head out to attend to family matters that I can’t be late for. Is there any way you can email me more information? I wasn’t aware that I was going to be interviewed on the spot! But I’m happy I got the position.
antoinette_009 We are almost done.. You will work Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, is that okay with you ?
antoinette_009 What mean of payment would you prefer?Direct deposit or paycheck
antoinette_009 In the mean time i need you to email me with the following requested info for verification purpose to my Workmail (email@example.com) Name : Address : (PO Box not valid) City : State : Zipcode: Cell # : E-mail address: so that my secretary can put you on register, Once done let me know.
firstname.lastname@example.org If I have a PO Box, would that be a bad thing?
antoinette_009 The Accounting Dept needs your home addres so the payment will be coming straight to your home.
email@example.com Unfortunately, I’m house bouncing for the meantime of my unemployment – which is why I’m a freelance writer. I don’t necessarily have a real address I can give you.
antoinette_009 The package will be coming on Wednessday.
firstname.lastname@example.org To my PO Box?
antoinette_009 Alright, email that.
email@example.com Ok. Also, I think you may have misspelled azedea. Is it supposed to be azedae?
antoinette_009 Oh sorry.
firstname.lastname@example.org May I ask a question before I hit submit?
antoinette_009 Alright, go ahead.
email@example.com What company gave you my email address?
antoinette_009 I am not in the position to answer that question Neil, my job is to hire the requested candidate…That will be for the Accounting Dept. The Accounting Dept told me, that was from DRS Technologies…Is there any problem ?
firstname.lastname@example.org Yes, I was wondering how my application went from DRS Technologies to Azadea Groups?
antoinette_009 Oh okay.. We are affliated with them…I still don’t have your email yet. ?
email@example.com Sorry, I haven’t hit submit yet, because I wanted to know more about the company before I went forward.
firstname.lastname@example.org How are you guys affiliated with DRS Technologies?
antoinette_009 You will get to know all that during training..
email@example.com Out of curiosity, since you work for Azadea, how long have you been working with them?
antoinette_009 i’ve been with Azadea for 4+ years now.
firstname.lastname@example.org And has the email domain name been hr-azadae-group.com since you’ve been working there?
email@example.com That’s interesting. Because apparently that domain name was registered on November 13. I hope this isn’t a scam.
antoinette_009 Hey!! come off that, we don’t run scam here!!! You should owe me an apology for this!!!!!!!
firstname.lastname@example.org It appears to be scam-like, especially if you’re asking me to deposit what will appear to be a large sum of money into my bank account. Additionally, you work for a company that openly typos its company name? And you’ve been working there for four years and just generally accepted that? And if my information is correct, you’re in Wichita, which is a hell of a lot of miles away from San Diego.
antoinette_009 has signed out.
email@example.com Combine that with the fact that you weren’t so open to telling me why DRS gave you my email address and boom. Scam. So in case you didn’t catch the hint of where I was taking you with all this, I’m going to have to reject this exciting opportunity. Have a good one, Antoinette. If that really IS your name.
— end conversation —
The foolishness! Bitch wouldn’t even allow me to close this one out with the bang! While the interview was going down, I was googling like a motherfucker to piece together just what the hell was happening and of course, once I found out when the domain name of the email was made, I just knew. Spider senses with tingling through the roof.
Don’t they know? Don’t they know that many a men have tried to Catfish me only so that their efforts would be doused in my urine? I know how to find shit out and if I can’t talk to you directly, I’ll talk to your wife! True story. But still, you can spot a job scam if you put your common sense to good use. Google it.
Scam artists should beware. You can’t hide from Google. And if you think you’re clever enough to come up with a ploy that dismisses what people find on the search engine behemoth, at least have your grammar together.